Menangis..

Yesterday I'm too upset...worried..This happend in the lab .for the first time I cried because of my study.....infront of my labmates.I've two labmates, Branko and Mark. Mark just as me..he is a student as well.I asked Branko about the reaction ...which is until today I do not got any product of it..he said this is not a difficult chemistry but as you're not strong in chemistry..so it could difficult for you!bla..bla..bla...YESS I admit it..I'm not strong enough in fundamental of chemistry..I told him that I feel want to cry..and suddently I was crying....uhuk..uhuk. .it's so shameful!!!silly!!!it should'nt happened..crying in front of Aussie...as a Malay student..from Malaysia...terus aku rasa bersalah..dgn diri sendiri..dgn negara n bangsa..nmpak betapa lemahnya aku...sekaligus sedikit sebanyak..mesti diorg akan kaitkan dgn negara...I don't know how to delineate the situation is...

what the hell I'm doing a synthesis in chemistry right now???aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....

but..just wonder if I'm not in Oz..mean I'm in USA..do I have this feeling???

Ya Allah hanya engkau la yang maha mengetahui apa sebenarnya hikmah semua ni....aku nak p USA..ambik coursework...but aku dpt p Oz ambik full research...sesunguhnya aku rasa susah sgt....aku susah hati...tak tenang..wlpun aku boleh gelak2...and untuk hilangkan rasa smua tu..aku bantai tdo!!!!tp setido2 aku...tak pernahla plak aku tak hantar o siapkan apa yg SV aku minta....dugaan sungguh!!!betulla org kata Master is challenging..so I should respect the Phd holder..bravo org2 yg dah ada Phd...aku akan ambik Phd?????satu persoalan yg aku sendiri tak pasti..

-Suz-