Thursday, March 12, 2009

Menangis..


Yesterday I'm too upset...worried..This happend in the lab .for the first time I cried because of my study.....infront of my labmates.I've two labmates, Branko and Mark. Mark just as me..he is a student as well.I asked Branko about the reaction ...which is until today I do not got any product of it..he said this is not a difficult chemistry but as you're not strong in chemistry..so it could difficult for you!bla..bla..bla...YESS I admit it..I'm not strong enough in fundamental of chemistry..I told him that I feel want to cry..and suddently I was crying....uhuk..uhuk. .it's so shameful!!!silly!!!it should'nt happened..crying in front of Aussie...as a Malay student..from Malaysia...terus aku rasa bersalah..dgn diri sendiri..dgn negara n bangsa..nmpak betapa lemahnya aku...sekaligus sedikit sebanyak..mesti diorg akan kaitkan dgn negara...I don't know how to delineate the situation is...
what the hell I'm doing a synthesis in chemistry right now???aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....
but..just wonder if I'm not in Oz..mean I'm in USA..do I have this feeling???
Ya Allah hanya engkau la yang maha mengetahui apa sebenarnya hikmah semua ni....aku nak p USA..ambik coursework...but aku dpt p Oz ambik full research...sesunguhnya aku rasa susah sgt....aku susah hati...tak tenang..wlpun aku boleh gelak2...and untuk hilangkan rasa smua tu..aku bantai tdo!!!!tp setido2 aku...tak pernahla plak aku tak hantar o siapkan apa yg SV aku minta....dugaan sungguh!!!betulla org kata Master is challenging..so I should respect the Phd holder..bravo org2 yg dah ada Phd...aku akan ambik Phd?????satu persoalan yg aku sendiri tak pasti..
-Suz-

6 comments:

  1. Don't worry.. everything gonna be ok.. take it easy.. one step a time.. don't think too much ok.

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  2. just be patient and concentrate on your studies..and dont think any more of not having the opportunity of going to the States and dont compare... just look and move forward, this is your fate now and just go with it...you'll never know the hikmah until everything is over or sometimes as time goes by you'll notice it...may it isn't just yet...anyway your course mate is your best help at the moment, believe me...be positive

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  3. All the best to you suzie... segala dugaan yg Allah bagi tu telah ditakdirkan mengikut kemampuan hambanya... cuma mungkin buat masa ini belum nampak penyelesaiannya... tapi,insyaallah berkat usaha dan doa pasti sinar menanti... di kejauhan ini, aku doakan segalanya yg terbaik untuk ko...

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  4. Lex la suzie..
    i know u're tougher than this.. :)

    stop for a while.. istigamah & look what's wrong..

    then doakan so u can move on.. insyallah..

    p/s; i know what u are capable of..

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  5. Kak aziah n friends..tq so much for your words....

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